Last night I had a very vivid dream. I dreamt I had just found out I was expecting another baby. I was so excited, but was already suffering a bit from nausea, which I knew would be getting worse. I knew the baby would be born in February, and I was not looking forward to being as big as a house over Christmas…..again.

When I woke up, I just allowed myself to think about what it would be like to have another baby, all the great things like the first smile, the first word, when they sit up for the first time, hearing them say ‘Mummy’. And then I got on with the business of the day.

After this morning, which consisted of me shouting at Ellie 3 times to eat her breakfast, her wanting to do her homework at the most inappropriate time, trying to dress Tabitha, and falling over her numerous times because she was following me around like a puppy and tripping me up, I have now been reminded why we are sticking with 2 children only.

I collected Tabitha from Pre-school today, and they told me that she had been a madam. Her carer was black and blue from being kicked with her heavy boots, and she had totally ignored every instruction today, as well as completely ignoring people she didn’t want to interact with. My first thought was, How the hell will they cope at school when she has days like this?

Ellie on the other hand, brought a little boy home from school to play today. We haven’t had a boy back before so it was a bit of a jump into the unknown. I am pleased to say it went well. He was a lovely little boy, and the two of them were off playing really nicely. When his Mum came to collect him, I told he was welcome to come again. And I meant it!

We are having to go through the process of Statementing for Tabitha to start school in September with the support that she will obviously need. Well, we think the support she needs is obvious, and the school think it is too, but the LEA don’t seem to believe she needs it. I mean, how they can say that a 4 year old who is oxygen dependant and developmentally only around 2 years old, and who is non-verbal, doesn’t need full-time, 1:1 care and support while she is at school?? So, they have dug their heels in on the issue, mainly because if they say she needs 1:1 support they have to fund it, and we are being just as stubborn saying she has to have that written in her statement, to ensure she is safe at school. 

There are other issues as well, like their refusal to name the correct school to meet Tabitha’s needs, simply because then they would have to help fund us to get her there every day, and there appalling administration of the department, which has led to them sending confidential information to the wrong school.

We are now taking them to Tribunal to get this sorted out. If they want to play hardball, thats fine. At the end of the day, without 1:1 support Tabitha won’t be safe at school, and I can’t take her anywhere she isn’t safe.